I need to write to you in the hope that you will understand what you are putting me, your mother through these last few months.
You have blossomed into a little lady before my eyes. When did this happen?
You are independently finding ways to entertain yourself. When did this happen?
You are sassy and at times sarcastic with me and my motherly ways. When did this happen?
You watch movies or shows now and laugh literally when an adult should, which creeps me out sometimes. When did this happen?
Your attention span to absorb anything and everything is so beautiful. When did this happen?
Your determination to vocalize letters, numbers, and words, undeniably makes this mom’s heart sing. When did this happen.
You are learning and growing leaps and bounds in pre-school. When did this happen?
We fought so hard to get you everything you need for your education and yet as I sit behind you and your teacher and just watch and listen I am sometimes in agony. It is like for those few hours you are engrossed in math, letters, books, etc. you get to be with someone else and not me. You should be and you deserve to be, but this mama hurts sometimes. I guess if I could compare it to when I went to school and left my mom for the day. I wonder if she missed me? I’ll need to ask. Once school is over I get to see your beautiful face and we get to continue our day together.
I am so very proud of you babe. I am so proud of your determination. I felt compelled to tell your doctors just how incredible you are and all of the milestones you are accomplishing and how you are so crazy smart. I got to feel like that mom that beams from ear to ear to gush about their child. Yep, I am that mom. I remember after I gushed I looked at your face and you rolled your eyes, to which my response was, “get used to it missy, you are kicking butt kid and the world will know at any chance I get.” Sorry Getty but you are stuck with me.
I stopped seeing the word terminal a long time ago. I see the word future in every direction and I see all of the great things you are going to do and accomplish.
You get your power chair in a few weeks and I can assure you that mama is going to gush again. Everywhere to everyone.
When you were diagnosed I grieved about all of the things I thought you would miss out on in life. I grieved as a mother about the things I thought I would miss out on as your mom. But you know what? THIS is far better than I could have ever imagined as a mother and you, my little owl are more than I could have ever asked for. You are flawless, you are incredible, you are beautiful, you are patient, you are intelligent, you are a dream come true.
Now I just need to figure out how to get you to listen to your teachers and not sass them. If history serves me correctly I was the same way. So basically we are in trouble. 🙂
I love you.
Your ever so diligent and loyal servant,
Mom (Or the way you yell at me down the hallway, “Ommmmmmmm)